Fear

We all have it and it springs up at the most inopportune times. Speaking with a doctor and not being able to concentrate on what they might be saying, talking to friends and suddenly it sneaks up and you can’t complete the sentence, in the middle of the night when you really just want to sleep.

I was walking through the hospital at 9:00 p.m. and I walked past the cardiac intensive care unit and there were two women in their mid 80’s sitting there and one was crying. I can only guess at what her fear was; the heartache of possibly losing her loved one, the fear of being alone, or the fear of the unknown.

It made me think about my own fears. I took a couple of deep breaths and walked on.

How do we stop the rush of fear that can come over us so quickly? I either force myself to take deep breaths or I sigh unconsciously but I am always forced to the realization that I did it because people point it out.  I do it so automatically after all these years that I really don’t know that I do it.

At the same time I am clearing my head of any destructive thoughts. Destructive in that my mind attaches to a scenario and forces it to play out in my head. I occasionally let them slip in, but the majority of the time I force it out and think of anything else, like my grandbabies smiling at me and their sweet little hugs. Before grandchildren I saw my beautiful daughters with their glowing smiles in my mind.

Sometimes I will just take a walk and realize how darn lucky I am that I can walk to the restroom, go to the bathroom without any assistance and find my way back to where I was because I still have a memory. In other words I am so darn thankful for every moment of our lives. I don’t have time to worry, when there are so many others around that have it so much worse.

And the one thing I always tell people, “Smile, because if you are smiling it is very hard to be sad, mad or scared!”

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