Lack of Feelings

As I write, we are waiting for my husband to have a kidney transplant in the next month. Our daughter is donating her kidney to her dad.

Believe it or not, I don’t have any concerns, no real fears, no anything. Hmmm. I don’t think that is normal. Shouldn’t I have a feeling of some sort?

My husband has been in and out of the hospital and had so many ups and downs in the last 21 years, that I believe I am numb to it all.

But still this involves our daughter, shouldn’t I be agitated or stressed or something?

Nope, I am thinking – nothing there.

I know I have feelings and that I react to stress. The other day our granddaughter was in the emergency room with a high fever and had a seizure and it freaked me clean out and I seriously couldn’t think for a moment so I know there are feelings there.

But I am not worried about the transplant. I honestly in my heart know that everything is going to be OK. No complications, just speedy recovery for both and my husband will feel 100% better.

I have packaged up my worries and sent them away. Maybe I gave them to God or an Angel to keep, but they are not here in my heart or mind.

Good thing, cause a month is a long time to worry about something you have no control over!

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