Asking for Help

I don’t get asking for help. It’s not that I don’t need help, it’s a feeling of failure, inadequacy, and worthlessness if I ask for help. And it’s very strange because I don’t believe people who ask for help are that way, just me.

I seem to think that I should be able to do everything all by myself and I am slowly learning that I can’t. I recently admitted to my sister that I may actually need a man to help me. God forbid!

I live on this beautiful acreage with lots to mow and lots of machinery to get ready in the spring. Last fall I made sure to add an additive to all of the gasoline, just like Terry told me to do. But when spring came around I had two flat tires on one mower and another flat tire on another mower. Additives do nothing for flat tires. My big mower requires a special tool to take the tire off and I don’t have it!

Now if I had money I would just pick up the phone and call someone to have them fixed. But that is a little problem! Fortunately my brother has a little bit of extra money, so he called to have them fixed. Thank you Pat!

Last week on Wednesday (the first day of my weekend) both mowers were back. So I jumped on the big one and tried to start it – Rrrraaa chug chug clunk. Ok I thought, the battery didn’t hold a charge. So I jumped on the next one – Rrraaa chug chug clunk. Really???! So I went and got my battery charger. I hooked it up to the small mower first because I really needed to use the wagon attachment and pick-up sticks first.

Off to the house I go. Surely there is something I can do for the next hour while I wait for my battery to charge. I went inside and poured myself a cup of coffee and went to my office and worked. I headed back to the barn after an hour and Varoom! I was now in business! But I decided not to pick up sticks, because I would have to turn the mower off and on, chancing that the battery would die again. So I mowed and mowed. The grass was so long that it took three passes to cut it! I was just moving along and CLUNK, my mower stopped.

Could it be that I was out of gas? Yep! Off to the barn to get the gas can. I looked all over for the funnel and finally gave up and went back to the mower and started pouring the gas in. After a minute I thought gosh my leg feels wet and I look down and low and behold my gas can had a hole in it and was pouring down my pants into my shoes, and all over the mower. I decided to walk away and not try to start it at that point. I had a sneaking suspicion that I might catch myself on fire!

I walked to my house and I open my garage and got out my push mower. I thought I could just trim a bit while I am waiting for the gas to evaporate. So I drug the mower clear out to my flowers beds through grass that was at least 12 inches long. I primed the mower and started pulling on the cord.

Nothing, nothing, nothing. Not even a hint of some power. I tried again and again and again. I drug the mower back to the garage.

I went back out to the mower that had gasoline all over it and I jumped on and started it. At that point I thought I don’t care if I blow up! Obviously I didn’t but geez, this was getting ridiculous. I finished my trimming and decided to go to the beach and rake the sand a little since my grandchildren were coming out to play. I drove down to the beach on the golf cart (something that actually started) and hopped off and started setting up chairs and tidying. I was raking the beach when I remembered that I forgot to grab my beach bag so I jumped on the golf cart and pushed on the gas . . . nothing. No click, click, nothing, nothing at all. OMG!!!

I walked away.

That night I told my sister that I might need a man. One week later as I was relaying the story to my daughter and she scolded me for not asking for help or at least asking her husband to come out and see if there was something he could do. It was at that moment that it occurred to me that my day could have happened to a man too and not all men know about machinery. My husband didn’t have a clue when it came to motors, but he knew people who did.  So what did he do? He asked for help! Wow novel concept! So why can’t I?

This week I am vowing to pick up the phone and call someone when I need help instead of just waiting for hell to freeze over. By the way the golf cart got hauled off to get fixed – I called someone!

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