Tag Archives: Dog

Bats

I had one in my house the other evening. It flew in through an open window.

I was sitting mindlessly in front of the television when I started seeing shadows in my living room. I turned and stared at the light. Sure enough here it comes flying through the air, tight to the ceiling.

“Oh Shit” I said. First I opened up my sliding glass door, then I ran upstairs and shut all the doors and ran back down turning off all of the lights on my way back into the living room.  Then I proceeded to flail my arms like I was possessed and at this point I probably was. Seeing the humor in all of this I started laughing hysterically. All of a sudden I didn’t hear anything. Bats are very, very quiet. Their sound is more like a rush of wind. I stood there in silence for about 3 minutes, finally moving toward the open door. There stood my dog, half in the house and half out. She just stared at me. “Come on” I said. She stayed at the door. “Come on” I said a little more persistent. She came in the house. I quickly shut the door and turned the lights back on. I felt pretty good about myself, scaring that old bat back outside!

Jumping to 2004: Earlier in that evening, our daughter had all the doors open from our garage all the way up to the second story so that she could carry stuff up to her room.

That night Terry and I were in bed sound asleep and I awoke to whish . . . whish . . . whish.

“There’s a bat in here” I said.

“Yep” Terry said. I turned toward his voice and in the moonlight I could see Terry’s head covered by the sheet.

“Really?” I said, “You did nothing to get this thing out of our bedroom?”

“Nope, You’re the exterminator”.

Sometime in the late 80’s I had my license to kill bugs. Not a very glamorous job, but it paid well and it wasn’t too gross. I had a job where I had to spray dorm halls and basements, and tunnels. Which honestly I enjoyed the lower levels of all buildings. That’s where all the secrets are! But I digress. Lots of times I would be in one of the dorm hallways and I would either get stopped by a screaming young woman or I would just notice that there were bats hanging out. Back then I had really short hair, so I would put on a hat, pull on my gloves and grab my towel and remove those little buggers outside. Typically, the hardest part was finding something to stand on. So I did have a little experience in removing bats.

Whish . . . whish . . . whish.

I got up and went to the window and opened the top half and laid back down.

Thunk.

“What the heck” I said as I climbed back out of bed. “Since when do we have a screen on the top half of the window?” I pushed it off with the bat still attached to the screen. It hit our roof four feet below. As I pulled the window up I looked over at Terry and said, “It’s safe now” in a smart assed tone.

I laid back down and closed my eyes. “You are putting that screen back on in the morning”. I went right back to sleep.

Whish . . . whish . . . whish.

“A second one???!!” I yelled.

“Yep” Terry replied.

“Oh my gosh” I got back up and opened the window. The second one flew out.

I got back into bed and smacked him on top of what I thought might be his head since he was still covered up with the sheet. And then I laughed at him. The jerk, making his wife get rid of the bats!

Back to 2016

I came home to let my dog out and I went into my living room for something, who knows what and there hanging off my woodwork was a bat. Not just any bat, the bat I am sure I tried to scare out of the house two nights prior. I wasn’t quite prepared for a bat, so I went to the closet and pulled out a hooded sweatshirt, found my leather gloves, grabbed a towel and then I got my sunglasses, but I am not sure why I needed my sunglasses!!!

I stood on a chair and grabbed that little bat and carried him outside and put him on the ground. I did however run back to the house and close the door. I didn’t want him to think he was invited back.

As I stood looking at the sliding door, I remembered Lucy my dog not wanting to come back in the house the night that I thought I had successfully scared the bat. But now that I think about it; she really didn’t want to come in at all. Hmmm. Moral of the story: if your dog doesn’t want to go into the house then you probably shouldn’t be in there either.

But for me, it was just a bat, an animal that I actually think has a great purpose here on earth, so hopefully he flew away tonight and is eating all the mosquitoes that he can!

 

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