Tag Archives: Perception of ourselves

What I have learned on EHarmony

This summer my brother-in-law told me that I needed to start dating and he wanted me to know that Terry would want me to be happy. It was very sweet of him to actually tell me that and it was kind of a blessing from Terry in a roundabout way. I have since realized that everyone wants me to be happy and that it’s OK for me to move on with my life.

I still can’t say that I want to move on, however I know that I am missing out on life by not doing anything, so I took the step and joined EHarmony. It has been interesting to say the least! Blind dating at its best (or worst).

This brings me to “What I Have Learned on EHarmony”.

  1. Don’t put a picture on a dating website that is 5, 10 or 15 years old! Geez do you honestly think you still look like that after you have gained the 40 pounds three years ago! It’s like being 18 again and need that fake ID only this time you’re not fooling anyone.
  2. Bleach your teeth. Very inexpensive way of looking better, younger, healthier, etc.! And while I am talking about teeth, going to a dentist is a good investment in your health. Feel like you can’t afford it? Dental colleges charge 1/10th the amount that you will pay at your local dentist and the college has the newest technology! Tough to look at someone with bad teeth, let alone kiss them! YUCK!
  3. Don’t talk about how perfect you are . . . if you are that perfect and make that much money, then why are you single?
  4. Please don’t say things like “You look like you have healthy hair”. Really? Can you say creepy! Besides the fact that obviously there is nothing else about me that you found attractive. Just don’t talk to me!
  5. If you don’t want to meet after talking to me for two weeks, then have the balls to say “Hey I don’t feel that we have enough in common” or “I have met someone” or anything would be better than nothing.
  6. Put a photo on the website. For gosh sakes you are paying money to have women look at your profile and the one thing we want to see is you and you deny us a picture. Those gentlemen go in my trash within the week.

So much for my griping! I would love to get a hold of all these men and help them portray themselves in the best available light! Unfortunately I might hurt their feelings, but sometimes don’t we all need to see how we look through someone else’s eyes? An honest look at ourselves?

When people look in the mirror they see someone totally different than how others view them. Such as anorexic women who see themselves as fat. Or when people sing, they hear something totally different than how others hear them. Listen to the tryouts for American Idol, all of those people believe that they have a shot but they don’t hear what we hear. It’s the picture that we paint of ourselves in our own mind. My theory is that we don’t honestly know what we look like or how others perceive us!

What scares me is that I have no idea what I look like in other people’s eyes. Shit I could be the one with the boogers hanging out of my nose. I often wonder if that’s the reason people rub their noses while they are talking to me.

The truth is that I don’t care.

Last week I met a man at 9:00 am for coffee with one of the worst colds I have had in years. I had to get up and blow my nose 5 times, I drank 4 cups of coffee and ate a piece of French Silk Pie for breakfast (and I may have moaned a little while eating it). I told him that I had a couple of other guys I was meeting and that I needed his full name so I could Google him. My girls were like “MOM you shouldn’t say all of that!” But again, I don’t care what they think of me.

So maybe I am really not ready to date. But I did see the same guy this week and spent a couple of hours talking to him over beer and a quesadilla. It was awkward and nice all at the same time. It is still really weird to me, but next week we are going out to a movie. He’s a nice guy, but I am kind of treating this like a science project. I don’t really have a hypothesis yet so I don’t know what my next step or experiment should be! Poor guy. All my friends say “Keep an open mind”; however I don’t know what to be open to . . . bad teeth, no hair, fake photo, we’ll see.

I will keep you updated on my experiment!

1 Comment

Filed under Awareness